It’s 6:47 am on Sunday morning.

I tried posting yesterday afternoon and evening and was hit with frustratingly slow internet, again.

Jeff tells me the network is overloaded from everyone using the internet so if I’m going to post this, I better DO IT NOW before everyone wakes up  I’m  thinking I will be a morning poster on the weekends!

This weekend I probably haven’t done as much as I could around the cottage in way of “de-junking” but there were a few “ugly as sin” items that absolutely needed to go 10 YEARS ago.

For instance, the bird:

Yes folks, that is a real stuffed bird.  Eyeballs, feet, feathers and all.  Let’s just say I wouldn’t touch this thing.  In our house there are things called “blue jobs” (boy jobs) and “pink jobs” (girl jobs).  This was hands down a blue job.

On a related side note, Jeff chased me around with the thing which in turn brought back memories of my mother chasing me around as a child with a thanksgiving turkey on her arm, making menacing squawking noises…Thanks mother, scarred for life.

Moving on to the boat:

This was hanging on the wall…Because a cottage wouldn’t be complete without a wooden boat model hanging on the wall

And let’s talk about the clock shall we:

WHAT IS THAT??

How about the glove that was hanging to the left of our sink?

There. Are. No. Words.

And let’s not forget the beer bottle opener that’s been on the wall for so long a silhouette remains where it once hung:

A quaint fruit basket anyone?

Another fun fact, my mom actually used to decorate our kitchen with plastic fruit.  I used to take the grapes and chew on them.  If I get cancer, I blame it on the BPA filled grapes from my childhood.

Hello hair doodles from the 1970′s:

And I absolutely ADORED this decor:

..I think I just threw up in my mouth a bit.

And the “dying FAKE plant in a basket on the dresser” look is SO in right now

I’m just saying, if you’re going to decorate with fake plants there are better options available

And last but not least (because the internet is slowing!!!) this little guy was hidden from me (I would have preferred it to stay that way but Jeff just HAD to point him out )

That concludes today’s segment on how NOT to decorate a cottage

I’m off for now!

Kamut pancakes are in our future!